Its late at night and here I am, thinking of you.

I know we're done and we're suppose to have separate, happy lives...

But, the truth is...I was depressed for the past 3 years and what you did to me back then was what triggered it all.

I didn't say anything because I wanted to be strong like you said I was....however, I was weak. My hands tremble when I replay that night in my head.

You may not have thought of it as a real relationship, but I was at my happiest when you said you'd go out with me. Nearly 7 years of friendship couldn't amount to those two weeks of my life. They were the best two weeks in my life.

I just wish we still could have been together, try to make this work out, but you had your reasons why you wanted to leave me and to this day, I may not know the truth, but I always thought it was when you wanted to get back with your ex, thats what your sister and Lena told me.

I couldn't believe it, didn't even wanna think about it, but that became my conclusion...

I was upset, mad at everything and everyone around me. I hated myself for giving up college and everything for you, so much that I wanted to take my life on numerous occasions.

I wanted to forget about you, be angry at you, delete you from Myspace and Facebook, even my own memories, but I couldn't...

I felt alone...

You know I was depressed, but I could never put in words nor could I tell you the real reason, because you said I was strong to handle this.

I wasn't. I don't think I slept that night when you told me we were over...

I thought I was finally over you, but two nights ago...all I could think of was you.

Your face, your voice...it all kept playing in my head like a fucking broken record and it wouldn't stop. I was laying in bed with my girlfriend, torturing myself to go to sleep and get through the night but I couldn't. I got of bed and tried everything to get you out of my head. Music, blogging, but nothing work...it made everything worst.

Its three years too late and this may not have been the first time, but I'm crying here alone, missing you, wishing we either didn't fall in love or met at all...

You were the only person I managed to keep in touch after we met years ago in a teen chat room and all the years talking and roleplaying, as stupid as this whole situation sounds, but I really fell for you then. It was like a dream come true for me to say you were my girl...

Seeing you on Facebook, even though you don't talk to me, I can see how grown you've become and I'm very proud you have. I may be jealous, but I don't want to come between you and your life, I don't want to interfere in your life anymore.

You will not be able to see this letter, which saddens me the most because I want to share my final feelings towards you before we end up nothing more than a memory to each other, before we even manage to lose contact with each other on Facebook, but I hope that you do know one day that I still think of you and I'm happy to see you the way you are and that I shouldn't be jealous about your relationship with your current boyfriend anymore.

I'm proud of you, Bri and I will always love you no matter what you do or what anyone says about you...

But, things have to come to an end, so I just want to say goodbye and please don't think of me as I am and what I've become, but as someone who was and will always be there for you, no matter what.

I'm sorry...

-Cam

Well, the car is officially towed away. A couple of friends of mine got together and got a trailer and a truck to haul the car back to my home. We planned it all day and around 10 pm we managed to get on the road to Nashville. We stopped by to get some snacks and drinks in case we were gonna be there for a while.

However, when we got there, the car was already towed. It was unbelievable because there were only one green sticker on the car Sunday when my father and I went to see what was wrong with it. Usually, they would give you three stickers and then tow it. They should have given me a call yesterday when the car was towed.

I wasn't going to try to fix it, the transmission was completely gone in the car and it would have cost me nearly $400 to $500 to fix it. Without a job, I wouldn't be able to do so, so I was gonna scrap it when I got the chance, but now its gone.

So now I'm officially unemployed and without a car, not to mention, my rent is behind and I have my phone to pay for, and I only have $40 on me, which won't pay for any of this stuff.

My car finally decided to break down on me Thursday evening when my girlfriend and I decided to take a trip to Nashville. She mentioned the Opry Mills mall being opened after I thought it was closed down after the flood we had in 2010. I told her lets go and visit.

She knew the way, so I followed her directions. We missed and exit, so we took the next one to go around to catch it again. On the way there, it seemed the engine roared loudly, then stopped, resuming its normal noise. I thought it was because I ran over something. When we reached I-65 North and I-24 West split, the car stalled, making that roaring sound again as if it was in neutral. When I put it in drive, it wouldn't move, it would slowly moved down hill.

I had to call my father to get it towed, but we don't have roadside assistance with Geico, nor do he or my mother have the means to come get me. My father had his girlfriend help us out, she even dropped us off at the mall while she went home to go change clothes. She was just getting off work and was gonna visit my dad that day.

So now, I'm trying to find a new job and a new car.