Sunday, 07 April 2013

  • Why Do I Get Jealous?



    Right now, my two roommates are having sex in the living room. I can tell that was their plan tonight, the female was originally gonna go out and drink with her co-worker, while the male was just gonna hang with me and play video games.

    When the female was getting ready, she gets a call from her friend. Judging from the tone in her voice, she wasn't gonna make it to the bar she intended to go to.

    So we all decided to watch the male play Grand Theft Auto IV, with me playing a round, drink, then watch 1000 Ways to Die on Netflix.

    After a couple of episodes, we all have to go to the bathroom from drinking so much. Well, there was a point where the female wanted to watch the male piss. This was stupid and funny at first, but this continued on for about an hour or more.

    Later, I find out they both went to the bathroom and there was silence and darkness in the bathroom when I was about to go piss myself.

    Afterwards, we all laid down in the living room, with the female and male cuddled on the couch next to the one I was laying in.

    After another episode or two, I decided to go to my room, thinking that they were asleep. I heard the male asked if I was going to my room. I replied I was, then just gathered my stuff and went to my room.

    Shortly after, I can hear the female moaning and the couch they were laying on moving against the wall.

    Now, I know the romantic history of these two and how much the female has loved the male, but she told me that she didn't want a physical relationship with him now that he's our roommate.

    But the thing is...I've somewhat had sex with the same female about a year ago and I work with her. Now she's my roommate and with this male being a roommate, I can see why she want him to be her roommate so quickly.

    So now I'm in my room, barely hearing them fucking while I'm jealous. I wonder why do I get jealous even after knowing the history these two had together.

    But when I think about the sexual history I've had with women the past year, its been nothing but fuck then leave. I'm luck if I can get laid at least once a month, but I never end up with the girl I wanna be with.

    I don't know why I get jealous so easily when it comes to sex. I don't even want a relationship right now, just want a fuck buddy or something like that until I feel like I'm ready for a relationship financially, mentally, physically and emotionally.

    This has happened before since 2009, I believe. I don't know what triggered it, but its been this way when I know that the girl I wanna have sex with is having sex with someone else and it frustrates me to no end.

    What I fear is that this will become a problem for all three of us as roommates. I fear this will continue to upset me to the point that I leave wanna leave here, forcing myself to move just after moving here a little over two weeks ago. But, I promised myself that I would stay here until I'm done with college, which I haven't started back in yet and is one of the debts I need to pay off, which is the main reason I moved here in the first place, so I can get financially straight and pay off my debts, get back into college and finish it.

    I wonder, has sex become so important to me that it has corrupted my state of mind to the point where it has control over my emotions, causing jealousy, anger and sadness whenever I'm not the one having sex with someone, but know that they're having sex with someone else?

Friday, 15 March 2013

Tuesday, 15 January 2013

  • Glorify Murder in the Self-Defense

    I was talking with my roommate about punishment for criminals and self-defense. One thing that upset me is that her and my friend last night talked about murdering their former partners after being abused physically by them.

    I always thought going to the police would be enough, but apparently, they rather have themselves or someone else killing their spouse after being abused.

    I never been in a relationship where I was abused, so as I'm told, I have no right to determined how one should handle the situation.

    The thing that bothers me is the fact is that they would rather glorify the fact that they have killed their spouse to get out of the said abusive relationship.

    I have little sympathy towards people and if someone did raped or abused someone, I believe they should be killed or punished one way or another, but I'm sick and tired of people glorifying murder towards someone, abusive or otherwise.

    Like I said, I have respect for criminals, but I do have respect for the dead. I think its because death is something all of us will end up at, so I'd rather everyone, no matter what you've done on this earth, to be let alone and have God or Satan deal with your soul.

    I think its inhumane to just glorify killing someone for self-defense and it makes you look crazy and seems to me that you killed this person for another reason. Even if it was on the news, if you come to me, happy that you've killed someone and bragging about it constantly, I feel like you are in the wrong and that you are probably the one who should be punished.

    Maybe I have no sympathy towards people. I was never forgiven for anything I've done wrong, so I don't forgive anyone for anything, but I've seen so many people die and its horrible, so I believe after death, one should be left alone, forgiven or forgotten.

    I've been wanting to kill my mother's current boyfriend for years and I've been planning, but as a black man, I fear I'll be thrown in prison, even if it was for self-defense for murder, so I couldn't do it.

    But even if I did killed him, I wouldn't glorify it. I would be afraid if I did so, someone who could have cared for him would try to kill me. It would be a endless cycle of murder between his friends and family and my friends and family. I don't want people to die on my account.

    But my roommate and my friend both think that their spouses should die and be murdered and to glorify and celebrate the deaths of humans, maybe not as humane as them, but still humans.

    I feel like they're no better than the other rapists, murderers and child molestors

Wednesday, 19 December 2012

  • What Other Countries Are Saying About America's Gun Laws After the Sandy Hook Elementary Shooting

    By now, you've all heard about what happened over in Conneticut and how children between the age of 6 and 7 and a few adults where gunned down by one man.

    Not only has it sadden this nation, its sparked outrage on gun laws, gun control and tears the country in half.

    Now, every person is entitled to their opinion, but I believe its time we reform out laws and try to make our country safe again.

    Some may think that this is just something America only sees and that other countries don't even look this way about how we do things.

    However, some countries have placed news articles about the shooting and even opinions on how America is seen about our gun laws. [SOURCE]

    Canada's The Globe and Mail:

    There is something inexorable about the phenomenon of mass shootings in the United States. We have been forced to write about it with tragic regularity for years. We have exhausted adjectives to describe our horror and revulsion. We have stated and restated the problem…
    The time for platitudes is past, Mr. President. It’s time the U.S. cured its gun sickness.

    Britain's The Guardian:

    The final difference is in many ways the most destructive of all. This is America's sheer difficulty in conducting any kind of rational collective conversation about gun control. In any other country, a shooting spree of the sort that took place in Newtown would set off a serious public debate. That's what happened after Dunblane in the U.K., after Port Arthur in Australia, and after [Anders] Breivik's killings in Norway. Nothing like this is now possible in the polarized gun culture of America, where law and politics have been unable to respond to such events for at least 20 years. That is why President Obama's very mild call this weekend for "meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this," was regarded as so unusual...
    Mad men with guns will always be a danger, whatever the gun laws. But modern America still seems to lack the will to make even modest regulatory changes, let alone to confront a real and growing danger to the health and survival of significant numbers of its young people.

    Briain Masters at Britain's The Telegraph:

    In Arizona, where the attempted assassination of Congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords and the slaughter of six others took place last year, almost anyone can have a permit to carry a concealed weapon and be allowed to take guns into a bar (where presumably they are going to drink something more potent than lemonade); that same state's legislators have talked about passing laws permitting teachers and students to carry their guns to school with them. Such is the contagion of madness.

    Germany's Die Tageszeitung:

    Beyond the individual state of the killer, the U.S. has a national pathology. The legality of gun ownership is a matter of course in the U.S., more so than anywhere else in the world. In 2012, some 270 million firearms were in private ownership. Every year, (thousands of) people are killed with them. In most states it's easier to get a firearm than a driver's license.
    This madness can only — if at all — be stopped in moments like this one. Against the tragic backdrop of 20 murdered children. And of a president like Barack Obama who has just won an election. The right wing has been pushed back a little, the public is appalled by the massacre.

    Germany's Süddeutsche Zeitung:

    President Obama's "never again" are little more than plaintive words. He's trying to provide comfort, but he certainly isn't promising any improvement. During Obama's first term, more than 40,000 of his compatriots died in a hail of bullets. One out of 10 of these victims was under the age of 18. He never even had the courage to at least come up with stronger laws to take some of the deadliest weapons out of the hands of civilians. Viewed in political terms, that is at least equivalent to the crime of failing to assist a person in danger. Obama points to the constitutionally protected right for US citizens to possess weapons. In reality, however, he is wary of a battle with the Republicans and the gun lobby. Their opposition to almost any kind of gun control borders on political complicity in murder and manslaughter...
    [T]here is no place in Western Europe where violence from gun barrels rampages in the way it does in the United States.

    Germany's Stuttgarter Zeitung:

    Nowhere else in the world are so many weapons in circulation as in the US. In no other country are citizens as well armed. The U.S. Constitution guarantees every American the right to move about in public as though he or she is John Wayne in person. One can see it as a national tradition. But this martial approach to liberty is also a relic of the past and one that is out of step with the times. Every 20 minutes, a U.S. citizen is murdered by a firearm. American schoolchildren are killed by bullets 10 times more often than in comparable industrialized countries. Such numbers speak for themselves.

    Anne Davies at Australia's Sydney Morning Herald:

    To Australians it seems incredible that U.S. politicians will not move to control guns. It seems illogical in the face of global statistics and our own experience of the success of the gun amnesty.
    [T]he bigger task for American is to become a gentler, more trusting society, so that school children do not have to be drilled in cowering in store rooms.

    Chemi Shalev at Israel's Haaretz:

    "God takes pity on the kindergarten children" poet Yehuda Amichai wrote bitterly of a country in which it is the grownups," often Israeli soldiers, who are forced to pay the price. In America, God has no favorites: He allows even tiny angels to be massacred in a crazed and senselessly obsessed outburst of a lone gunman, armed to the teeth.
    Perhaps, when President Barack Obama was shedding a tear, he grieved not only as a parent who thinks of his own children but also as a president who cries for his beloved country. These unthinkable but nonetheless recurring bloodbaths by shooting are peculiarly, if not exclusively, American, a stain on its image that gets brutally bigger as time goes by.

    Tzipi Shmilovitz at Israel's Yedioth Ahronoth:

    America is not ready to talk about how it is easier to get a handgun than it is to see a doctor, not ready to speak about the video games that have extreme violence. It is just willing to sweep up everything under the carpet of tears.
    Peter Hellyer at the United Arab Emirates' The National:
    How fortunate we are that in the United Arab Emirates such an event would appear to be almost inconceivable. Long may that remain so…
    In the U.A.E., with about 8 million people, an equivalent rate would be 222 gun-related deaths annually. Yet so far this year, as far as I can see, there's been one — and that was either a suicide or an accident.

    India's The Times of India:

    For those griping about the American right to bear arms, wake up. This is the 21st century and America's a settled state, not the rough-edged, wide open spaces of the 1780s when the Constitution was framed and everything, from land to liberty, was based on violent contests. Bearing arms then might have made sense — doing so today is swallowing the nonsense posed as liberty by commercial lobbies. Some argue weapons empower victims against aggressors. If so, should second-graders pack pistols in their schoolbags? Such shaky logic simply intensifies dangerous situations.


    These countries are right, we haven't learned anything since we made the second Amendment nearly 300 years ago. Maybe its time we re-written out laws. Americans back then didn't know what we would become years later.

    This pretty much goes back to my idea on how we need to do psychological tests on anyone who has or wants to own a firearm. [BLOG] I had more to it, but after being blasted against it, I just deleted the plan I originated.

    I don't think America will evolve into a more modern country with its outdated laws and amendments. The country is so stuck in the past and so scared to change historic artifacts that it ignores the suffering its people is enduring. I'm down for owning a firearm for protection, but come on, grow up and stop being paranoid about the government becoming overpowered and other bullshit. If the country sucks, leave it, no ones making you stay.

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